For most of us, pain and suffering are so intertwined that we find it impossible to separate them. When things go wrong, we may feel like victims or assume that we're receiving karmic punishment—that we "deserve" what is happening to us. We may express our feelings or stuff them, but few of us know how to process the pain of loss or failure without getting hooked by our suffering.
There is not much that rocks my world, but once in awhile someone does something to knock me off balance. A good friend of ours was diagnosed with dementia, I offered to give Bob a Thai Therapy for free to see what he thought. I sent him and his wife, Norma, the link to my blog so they could read a little about what I do. Later I got an email from Norma saying new medications were helping Bob right now so they were going to pass on the Thai Therapy. I continued to send my emails and blog links, as I do for my students and clients. I received another email from Norma asking me to take them off my email list. When I got the email I was embarrassed, then I was angry, then sad, then I chose to let it pass right through me, as though I were transparent, so that it would not hit that solid wall inside of me. I did not want them to have power to control my inner state.
Yoga has taught me to untie the knots that make me identify with my suffering self. yoga practice is meant to teach us how to untangle these inner knots. Often, you don't realize how much difference your practice has made until the day that you find yourself dealing with a crisis without going into an absolute meltdown. The kids are screaming or your office mates are panicking, and yes, there's a little bit of fear and irritation in your mind too, but there's also a witnessing awareness, an inner compassionate presence that lets you stay present with what's happening without getting sucked into the fear or the anger.
I had a little sample of this a few years ago when I was showing off a handstand for a group of family members. I had looked around the room for a wall to kick up against, not finding one I chose a door instead, I pulled the door shut and stepped back to kick up. As my heels touched the door I heard the door unlatch, panic struck me for just a moment, the door started to fall away, I knew if I let fear control me I could be seriously injured. I let the door slow my fall, I stayed completely calm and straight, I brought that witnessing awareness, the compassionate presence let me stay present with what was happening so I did not get sucked into the fear. Everything slowed down as I felt my body slowly lower to the floor, at least it seemed slow to me, I was unharmed and tried again at a more solid door.
I know these examples seem small compared with what might be going on in your life right now, but the process of pain, loss or failure is the same.The great spiritual practitioners all offer the same basic prescriptions for undoing inner knots: Find out who you really are, do the practices that purify your murky mind, and discover how to work with everything that happens to you. Then difficulties become your teachers, and pain and loss become occasions for profound and positive transformation.
Nancy Adams Certified Thai Yoga Therapist
and Ayurveda Consultant
These are my own thoughts. I sometimes take writings from others to support my own ideas.
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